🔗 Share this article

At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are typically coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his behavior, leaving him particularly vulnerable to criticism from others. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that realization on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they feel a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been called narcissists for more than a century, it’s not always clear what the term implies the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, adding the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people hide it, due to widespread prejudice linked to the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Although three-quarters of people diagnosed with the condition are men, research suggests this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this reaction – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures during development. “I’ve been learning over the years the difference between and is not appropriate to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she says. There were no boundaries when my household were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

After a visit to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he comments. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number